nourishment

"on rare occasions, if you're incredibly lucky, people come into your life and nourish you in ways you never knew you were hungry."

that was what i posted to twitter on april 12th. the follow-up would have to be that, when they go, which they sometimes must, you can feel you may well starve to death.

at this moment, seeing or speaking with this person again is uncertain and, i fear, unlikely. i will always be grateful for what i learned during the time spent in the company of this nourishment. for the freedom he gave me to be entirely myself, to accept help, to feel safe with another person. it's a rare gift.

truth is, i know i will not die from this. in any part of myself. it opened me back up to feeling and trusting (something i lacked even through my marriage and, y'know, divorce). as much as i'd like to withdraw from the possibility of letting someone get that close to me again, i will try very hard not to. i don't let people in easily - really let them in. they just think so. i'm social and friendly, so i cover pretty well. this one was a great surprise to me.

funny how, when one energy ends, a different energy can sneak in. i'm reconnecting with the other artists in my community. i'm again seeing what can be. after the extended dark period i've been immersed in since the divorce, it's looking like there's light outside. maybe this time spent with this person was to remind me of that.

going forward, there will be new artwork, new places and ways of spending time, new conversations. and kindness. can't have too much of that.