have you ever thought about a memory so much that it actually evaporates? nah, me neither. but i've sure worked some of them over.
i once read that we have a finite number of recalls for a particular event. don't know that i believe that, though. since memory is inherently subject to our present perceptions, doesn't it just clock around slightly and become something else? isn't it really ever-changing?
so, by my calculations (paired with deep critical thinking), we only ever remember a thing once in that way. i like that.
i have memories of trying to make memories. i did this quite a lot over a number of years starting in childhood. i'd be in the most innocuous setting - the line at the grocery or sitting at a traffic light on a day bright equally to both the day before and the one that followed - and decide to will the moment to memory. maybe i felt peaceful or happy, maybe i wanted to remember how singularly unremarkable it was. i forget why. what i recall is the effort to keep it, not what i was hoping would be kept.
so it seems i evolve, (hopefully) grow, change. my memories evolve right along with me. it's kinda sweet.
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I remember our childhood talks, where we compared our respective attempts to will the most mundane moments to memory. I, too, remember the attempts far more than the moments I was attempting to capture.
ReplyDeleteAs a parent, I wonder about memories all the time. What will my children remember about this particular day? This trip? This moment of such tremendous significance? I've come to decide that one memory simply builds upon the last - creating layered memories. In other words, whatever they (we) ultimately remember contains all the other memories anyway. Maybe evolution is another way to think of it. Regardless, I choose to believe the memories are sensory; they're all in there somewhere :)
this is so nice, amy.
ReplyDeletei agree - i think they're all in there and they inform us in quiet ways. i'd like to think my memory jones has helped train me to see wonder in simple things.